BBC and the Bristol Burlyfest 2013

As I’m sure you are all aware by now, I took part in the Bristol Burlesque festival final showcase at Smoke and Mirrors, performing my Gloomy Sunday routine.

It was a huge deal for me to perform here as well as to be booked and perform for the tremendous Cabaret Abattoir later in the month. I had an absolute blast and met/worked with some absolutely wonderful people during these shows and couldn’t have been more pleased with the resulting memories (and photos thanks to, Michael, Josie and TBP).

As part of a project focusing on Bristol life and culture a certain mister Barry Batchelor, took some shots of us outside the Smoke and Mirrors venue post performance and entered them into a competiton which won a motherfucking prize and ended up having myself, the gorgeous Tiger Tiger, Didi Curve, Honey and Jacque Bruxelle plastered all over the BBC!!!

Go have a gander!!!

Here’s another couple of the shots from the set, I live for this…




Serving FISH: Black Lagoon realness with Janey Hayes MUA

Hey guys,

many of you will remember that recently… okay November last year, that I was taking a trip to the UK skills show in Birmingham to play model for uber-talented Make-up Artist Janey Hayes.

After being given the brief of ‘Golden Hollywood’ by her adjudicators, Janey selected the enduring image of the Creature from the Black Lagoon – a classic slice of cinema from the era’s tail end. Don’t remember the look? Feast your eyes on this and talk about fishy realness! creatureblacklagoon2

Competition rules stated that at least three prosthetics that had been hand made were utilised in the final look – Janey fitted me for FOURTEEN – and included a mixture of body paint and airbrush techniques. This was a full on teardown aiight?! Now, being a queen who doesn’t typically shave for my appearances, this meant re-accquainting myself as well as my legs, arms etc. with a bic disposable… I’m a little rusty so most of the bathroom in our swanky ass hotel room looked like the prom scene in Carrie by the end of it – NOT CUTE but very funny.  Here’s a sample of some of the raw prosthetics prior to application and painting (Janey had four hours to paint me head to toe btw).


The event itself, which drew competitors from all across the UK entering various different skilled based tests (from plumbing to catering), was attended by thousands. Seriously, thousands of young people came to stare at the competitors, which translated to me being in a pair of tiny pants and not much else for the majority of the day – one of the other models looked as though she had turned blue from the cold, though that may have been the paint, I couldn’t really tell.

Janey worked incredibly hard and turned out by far the most striking and well realised image in the whole competition, I felt so proud to represent her work. Really and truly. We placed ‘Highly Commended’ overall and Haye’s work was noticed by a huge amount of people from the industry. You couldn’t exactly miss us, especially not after I headed for a walk-about with Janey after the judging, there were some small children who bit off more than they could chew when they attempted to get close and play with the prosthetics… DON’T TOUCH THE SCALES BITCHES! You gonna get swallowed and not in the good way, black lagoon don’t do gobbling!

Here’s a snapshot of the final image:


One of the tutors representing Bristol College shot some video for us, I edited this sharpish so it’s very rough but gives you an idea of how the whole thing went:

That’s all from me for now but stay tuned, there’s so much on the horizon…

Bile and Bruises



Black Lagoon Realness and Asylum Party Funtimes @ Psycho:Drama

So! The very talented and beautiful Janey Hayes (pictured above courtesy of Michael Hill) – who i’m sure you will remember spitting fire at X-RAY SPEKZ a couple of weeks ago – recently asked me, can you believe it, ME! to model some Creature of the Black Lagoon REALNESS!!!!! It’s all part of this major project she’s undertaking to become an officially recognised and fabulous MUA specialising in horror cosmetics. She created a most incredible body piece for a C3P0 costume at her last competition and came in second place (freaking travesty – I saw the work!), however, this time she’s got it licked!!!!!

Sat in the top bar of the Gryphon on Colston st. during another one of our delightful autumnal rain storms. The wind pounded against the windows like Hugh Grant with a hooker (No, we didn’t forget Hugh!) Miss Haynes, set about covering me in vaseline – you’re loving this already aren’t you?! and pouring cold blue alginate all over my face. As this set and airways were secured, I was then plastered with cotton wool balls – Did I also mention that I was wearing a bald cap? Delightful 🙂 The whole process was rather strange as not only was I not able to talk for what felt like an eternity, I felt oddly serene, as if being fitted for a relaxing death mask. Also, alginate has almost a eucalyptus effect on skin and once removed, everything feels somewhat tingly and new. It’s a bit like a facial but the sticky ending happens first.

I’ve posted some pictures of the casting below (taken by Miss Hayes who was incredibly professional throughout the whole endeavour and kept me nice and relaxed).

Oh, oh oh!!! We’re not done yet!!!! Don’t forget, Psycho:Drama’s ASYLUM party is on Friday. Myself, Tini, DeadPunkBoy and ANT will be spinning some classic tracks to keep your feet moving all night long, I’ve even  prepared a special costume for the event, it’s my ode to Arkham Asylum, those of you who have already signed up to the event on Facebook will have seen my posts of bloodied Harley Quinns, that’s a clue! Here’s a further teaser poster made by the amazing Michael Hill – I love this shot, SOOOOO FANTASTIC!!!! He modelled for the shot himself, don’t you just love it!!!!

That’s all from me for the time being, but don’t forget to sign up to the PD event:!/events/426600570732837/

and here’s Michael’s Flickr account:

Also, the Beacons, Icons and Dykons group are hosting a show this Friday at the Arnolfini, if you go there first, you get free entry to Psycho:Drama afterwards 🙂!/events/183826541742511/?fref=ts

Blood and Blisters



Jed Phoenix and the manor house

So, a couple of weeks ago – last Monday to be precise, I was asked by the lovely Tini Von Doom ( make-up artist and model extraordinaire, to play MUA on Jed Phoenix’s first ever fashion video! It was a long day held up by terrible weather which delayed our arrival as well as that of two of our models but absolutely fantastic all the same.

We started out at around quarter to six, wonderfully, no taxi would pick us up so myself and Tini had to trek across Bristol to our ride at Temple Meads in the pouring rain. Once we arrived to meet the lovely Phoenix and James Artaius, a little soggy and tired but glad to be out of the rain and in good company, we began the journey to North Cadbury and the set of the shoot – a beautiful stately manor currently being transformed into a guest house of sorts.

Once there, and after a short meet and greet with the lovely Jed Phoenix (!/pages/Jed-Phoenix-of-London/209546261874?fref=ts) and our directors Mel Jones and Claire Hurst, we got down to business. Tini made herself over for the Geisha shoot whilst I beat face for Phoenix and James. The set up, whilst a little cold in the basement, was perfect and soon warmed up once the lights were on. A simple Byōbu and candles against a sparce white room acted as the perfect backdrop to the gorgeously tailored designs Jed had prepared – classic Kimono robes in a pallet of black, red and blue. The models looked beautiful and, without giving away the entire concept of this first film (there are three), their ritualistic motions and subtle movements really suited the high drama of the clothes.

After a few finishing touches to make-up and the removal of one deceased lizard, Katra (a beautiful young lady and one of the stars of todays filming) and I headed outside for a breath of fresh air. Katra, who had travelled all the way down from Barry for the shoot, had been up since 5am with Jed, Mel and Claire to help prepare the shoot and make us sandwiches and goody bags *YUM* 🙂

Our second set of models arrived after suffering the same problem as us; torrential rain had caused flooding and delays as well as cancelled trains and traffic jams. I set to work on Rosie (Jed’s intern/model) and Kyle.

Round two kicked off with Kyle (looking very dashing) in a tailored bondage suit with royal purple flourishes, I set to work on a freshly shaven James upstairs, who in between nipple rubbing kept me in hysterics as I painted him up. Rosie had now donned her bustle skirt piece with it’s thirties touches and looked stunning. Tini had now transformed herself from jet black to red head and looked stunning in her fetishistic military suit in preparation for the third act. We were running a tad behind schedule thanks to the weather but Mel and Claire were phenomenal all the way through, in fact they rocked! In downtime and between cigarettes I acted as lightstand to help out as well as occasional mirror polisher 🙂 Totally worth it, I loved every second of it in fact!

Katra, who had been shooting a couple of pieces with Kyle at the beginning of the second half, now also donned the bustle skirt as worn by Rosie for a seduction/domination scene with James -the girl ROCKS an icy stare and gimp mask combo!

It was coming up to 10pm and god were we tired so thankfully we were able to raid the coffee and sneak a little pick me up before we had to finish everything up and pack all the equipment away.

The shoot was excellent and Phoenix was kind enough to drop myself, Tini and Katra back in Bristol – Kyle dropped the lovely Rosie at the station and made his way back to Essex – I dread to think what time he got home!

It was such a pleasure to work on this shoot – my first of this nature, of course I’m gutted I couldn’t use a couple of stocking masks and give everyone my trade mark barely there lip line :p but I had such a blast and can’t wait to see the final product!

Lots of love to Jed Phoenix, Mel Jones and Claire Hurst for getting this all together!

Open sores and bleeding wounds

Dis Charge